WORDS THAT MAKE SENSE

Just saw this on Facebook....so true.


                           

YEA GOOD NEWS DAY 8

Last week I had my head examined.....by an MRI.  I've had some symptoms that kind of worried me, but most of all I still don't have a good sense of taste or smell.   I lost it after I fell outside of Starbucks and hit my head.....remember, when my sweet husband was sitting in the car and I was banging on the side? It's the Feb. 11 2012 post entitled Oh the Pain.  You can read it here.  It's about halfway down the page.  Anyhow the MRI was normal, which was a relief.  So now I just have to worry about my shoulders, which both have torn tendons.  Damn, getting old is no fun.  The women in my family, both maternal and paternal live a long time, well into their 90's.  Which is great, if you have your mind.  I plan on keeping mine :)

DAY 7

Does it count against you if you just plain forgot.?  I had the best of intentions.  I always write late at night, after I have finished in my studio.  I got on the bed with my computer about 4:00 a.m. ( a perpetual night owl) and promptly fell asleep.  I woke up at 6 and put my jammies on....this happens frequently and always shocks me.  How can anyone fall sound asleep with a computer on their chest and their hand on the mouse pad?  I do it all of the time.  I used to smile at old people who took after noon naps, and now I am one. Karma is real, people!  Okay, it's 3:58 and I am nodding off.....I'm out of here.

DAY FIVE

Well, I finally made some beads that I feel okay about.  My mojo has been out of order for a long, long time, but these beads I can live with.  Actually, they are on ebay, so. I'm not going to live with them very long :)   Well that's not totally true, because if no one buys them ............. they will be mine.  Here's a picture:

                                                       

                                                     
For me, as a beadmaker, the hardest thing to do is put myself "out there."  If no one buys my beads I doubt myself and then I become even more critical of my work.  In the past two years bead sales are really down for a lot of us beadmakers.  The market has become flooded and not with just beads made by people in the US.  There are several countries who mass produce glass beads.  These beads are not annealed (put in a kiln to slowly cool the bead after it comes out of the flame.  This process strengthens the glass) nor are they cleaned.  They break easily and don't hold up for long term use.  People who are just buying beads to make a necklace for themselves or a family member are usually not educated about what makes a good bead, so they buy inferior beads. They are cheaper, but in the long run they are not a good buy.  The round beads in this picture probably take me about 30 min to make each bead.  There are many layers involved and each flower and leaf is made one by one.  I make bigger beads like this.  This one takes

1 1/2-2 hours to make, if every stringer and vine is already made.  It's a tedious job, but I love that part of beadmaking.

                                       

                                       

DAY FOUR

I've come to the conclusion that my life is way too boring to write something on my blog every single day.  Well, actually (these are 4 year old Cassidy's  favorite words right now, "well actually" is how she begins answering anything you ask her) anyhow my life isn't really that boring but the parts I want to share are pretty dull. However, I am going to have my head examined tomorrow, by way of an MRI.  I've had some strange symptoms recently and this is just kind of a random check up.  I had and MRI of both my shoulders two weeks ago and found out I have tears in tendons of both shoulders.  Not the Rotator cuff, another pesky tendon.  Also have arthritis.....damn old age ! :)  I am sure not liking the aging thing, but it is better than the alternative. Sleep well, people, this is all I've got for today.

DAY THREE

Technically it's day 4 since it is after midnight on the east coast, but I'm going to go with Pacific time tonight :)  I have nothing to talk about today, except for random things.  I ate a whole bag of caramel popcorn tonight, kind of depressing, but I have to admitted that it tasted really, really good.  I also played that candy sugar game for more than an hour, while I was eating the popcorn.  Man, am I good at wasting time.  I  started a scarf , that I'm knitting for my BFF, over for the 5th time.  I think it is beyond my talents, but I just hate to give up on it.  I feel like I have to show it that I CAN figure it out.  I'm warped aren't I?  That's all I've got. Over and out.

DAY TWO

The beads that came out of my kiln this morning were, okay,  not something that I would be excited about showing, but not down right ugly either.  I will show them eventually. It seems I have struggled with creativity for the past year.  I think part of that is due to the to the fact that beads do not sell well on ebay anymore.  There are still several artists that do well, but for the most part it is no longer lucrative.  This is partially due to the economy, bling seems to be one of the first things to go.  I've  been making and selling beads for 13 years now, and this is  the worst year I have ever had.  I also think the lampwork bead category became over loaded., esecially with the entry of beads made in China, Japan and India.  Many of these imported beads are poorly made and have not been annealed or cleaned and they are often the product of child labor. Unfortunately many bead buyers do not understand what criteria is desired to produce a well made bead that has the potential to be around for quite a while. Okay, enough about bead woes.  I promise some of my posts will hopefully be smile producing.  I still have something heavy on my mind, but I am sorting my way through it.....messes with my creativity though.  There are people among all of us that  seem to feel joy in producing drama. Unfortunately for them they never seem to learn that they are their own worst enemy.  Sometimes it is painful to watch and other times it is just annoying.  There never does seem to be a good outcome though.

A CHALLENGE

Look to the right.  I saw this Badge after I wrote my post on July 21,  30 Posts in 30 Days.  I'm in.  I need this kind of challenge.  How about you, are you in too?  So my paragraph for the day is this:

I've had a hard time making beads lately.  There are so many beautiful beads out there and I don't feel like I've grown in bead making.  However, I think my watercolor floral beads are okay, so I'm just going to go with them for awhile, but I am going to attempt to expand  my basic design.  I wonder where this will take me?  I hope in a good direction.  I will try to publish my results or failures.  However, I am so picky.  I hope I can find a bead or two that I am happy with.

THINKING ON PAPER

The events of this past year have been heavy on my mind recently. I miss the old me, the one who was happy most of the time.  I had a lot to be happy about.  A forty+ year marriage, three children, all grown.  Grandchildren who made life complete.  I loved the people my children chose as spouses.  We liked each other enough that we even vacationed together.  It was a good life....and then the bottom fell out, when my son's wife left him.  Since then life has been more sad than happy, as I have tried to make sense of it all.  I look at my own marriage and the struggles we had as a couple.  I think about how hard marriage is sometimes, but we always made it through, sometimes because it was the right thing to do for our children.  Now after those 40+ years I am glad we stuck it out. We did the right thing for ourselves and our children.  As we slide into old age, we take good care of each other.  We are a unit.  We both have our own faults and weaknesses, but we compliment each other, we are devoted to each other.
I wonder what is happening to our , (and I mean "our" in a general way) concept of marriage.  I read about younger people divorcing and wonder why people are so willing to take the "easy" way out, because in the long run of things it isn't easy.  I watch my son work so hard to be a good single dad, but it's difficult to take care of three children by yourself, even with shared custody. (Hey it's no easy task  to take care of three when you have a spouse!  I know that first hand).  I'm sure it's hard for his ex too.
This has been a rough year.  Maybe next year will be better for all of us.  I hope so. 

I JUST LOVE THESE KIDS

"Cassidy finds a worm and breaks it in half to share with her brother".  My son just posted this on facebook.  Isn't that just typical of a four year old?  This one keeps me on my toes at all times. Look at her sweet brother, willingly accepting her gift.  Great kids!

I have spent a great amount of time attempting to "small" this picture.  It will not cooperate, probably because I lifted it from FB.  So I apologize that my grandchildren are all over this page, but you have to admit that they are really cute :)