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Thursday, January 10, 2013

A BEAUTIFUL MESS INSIDE

Does anyone read her blog?  I just found it about a week ago and love what she writes.  She just wrote one on control,betrayal, and perfection,  which was really helpful to me.  Here's the link.
http://www.abeautifulmessinside.com/  I still struggle with the betrayal thing.  It makes me sad and  gives me such a sense of loss.  So many question, so few answers.
I'm leaving for Florida on Sunday.  My mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer.  She's  90  and up to this point has been living a great life, still driving, playing bridge, very active.  Now she's going through chemo.  She's already lost her hair and had terrible sores in her mouth and this was after just one treatment.  My sister and I are going down  to spend some time with her and meet her oncologist.  The cancer is invasive and the chemo was my mom's choice because the cancer has a 70% cure rate.  I don't know what I would do if I were in her situation, but I will honor whatever path she chooses.

On top of all of this my Honey Bunny has been diagnosed with prostate cancer.  Because of his blood clotting disease he cannot have surgery.  They are treating it with radiation and it has a 95% cure rate.

I'm a little overwhelmed these days, but I think all of us have a pretty good attitude.  My bead mojo is on an extended leave of absence so I have taken up knitting.  For whatever reason, I find it calming.  The grandchildren keep me happy.  I love being with them.  One thing I've learned about life, in my soon to be 69 years, it is what it is.

Friday, January 4, 2013

EXCUSES THAT MAKE ME LAUGH

Most of you know that I have a 36 year old daughter with multiple disabilities.  See Saturday, September 17, 2011 blog entry.  For the most part the grandchildren have been accepting of her, but they all go through an initial stage of trying to figure Sara out.  There is some fear involved because Sara does not ask or answer questions.  She can't carry on a conversation and her walk is kind of staggered.  She also falls a lot.  Sara isn't very good about sharing her dad or her toys.  She's always been number one with her dad and all of the sudden there all of these little kids running around crawling up on her dad's lap, taking up his time.  She has a little bit of trouble understanding it all.  Cassidy, who is 3 1/2 is still leery of Sara and keeps her distance.  She has told me several times she doesn't like her.  I've tried explaining to Cass that Sara is different from most people, that her brain works differently and that she needs to be kind to her.  I tell Cass that Sara was born this way and she can't help the way she is.  Cass is a smart little girl and I keep thinking she understands what I am telling her.

Last week I was brushing Cassidy's hair.  Sara was standing beside me.  Cass told me that she couldn't play with Sara anymore.  I asked her why not and she said, "Because I'm allergic to her."   What a clever little girl!  On her own she had figured out a politically correct way to solve her problem.  It wasn't her fault she had an allergy, but because of that she would have to stay away from Sara.  I laughed right out loud!   I think this child needs to consider a political career.   Needless to say, we need to have some more talks about Sara.  I wonder what her next excuse will be?  This kid keeps me on my toes :)