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Friday, January 2, 2015

A HOPEFUL BEGINNING

The pills arrived today.  I hope this is truly a new beginning for my poor lungs.  They won't stop pulmonary fibrosis, but their job is to slow the process down, until a drug that stops the disease comes on the market.  I took my first pill with a Starbucks frappicino...frappicino's are kind of like champagne to me.  Besides I am suppose to have very limited alcohol intake, which is easy, since I  drink one glass of wine a month.

Also today, my night time oxygen arrived in the form of an oxygen concentrator, which is kind of amusing, since I have two concentrators in my studio and they are my oxygen source for making beads.  I wonder every day if making beads is what started all of this.  I always wore a respirator when using enamels, but many of the glasses I use have metals (silver, gold, copper and lead)  I have a ventilation fan that goes to the outside air, but the thought crosses my mind, is the thing that I love killing my lungs?  No one knows for sure what causes Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis.  So is my fear unfounded or real?

Some days I think I should just stop, I'm nothing special as a beadmaker,   Then I see a beautiful bead and that impulse to go to my torch and see what I can create takes over.  It's like a siren song. Right now I'm knitting, crocheting, drawing, and planning a small quilt hanging, but my glass studio still calls my name, over and over again.

What if 10 years down the road, when I am 80, ( and can no longer hold a steady mandrel) I find out that beadmaking is the cause of my disease, but I continued to make beads.  Actually if that is true, then I probably wouldn't make it to 80.  BUT what if I stop now and find out the glass didn't cause it?  

I wonder......are there any other beadmakers out there with this disease?