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Tuesday, January 31, 2017

HONESTY

I decided when I was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis that I wasn't going to keep my feelings to myself.  When someone has a life ending disease, everything changes. ....in oh so many ways .  The first year after my diagnosis was fairly normal.  The only big change was that I had to start sleeping with oxygen at night.  By the end of the second year though, I found myself using oxygen  24/7.  That's was big.  I am now hooked up to something that aids in my breathing, and I can't be without it. Doctors appointments and pulmonary re-hab appointments consume a good part of my life. I go to re-hab 3 times a week for 2 hours at a time.  I never realized how much free time I had until it was gone.
Going to the grocery, the mall, out to dinner are all exhausting.  It's just easier to stay home.  Thank heavens for supermarkets that gather your order for you.  All I have to do is unload, and that can be done at my pace.  I'm good at entertaining myself, which is a blessing....maybe I'm just naturally lazy:).  The thing I miss most though, if I am really honest here, are my friends.  Several have been great about keeping up, but there are a few who have just disappeared.  That cuts to the bone.  So if you are reading this and you have a sick friend I have two words for you........be there.... In phone calls, cards, visits, whatever.  Don't think about what you will say or how this makes you feel.  Suck it up and BE THERE.  Don't wait until they are gone to miss them. Dying is lonely, be there.