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Saturday, August 9, 2014

I'M STILL BREATHING

I know I've kind of disappeared.  Actually I've been looking for myself, which sounds kind of weird, but turning 70 kind of did a number on me.  When you pass that threshold you begin to realize that you are on the downward spiral.  You are living the last years of your life, and I've been asking myself what do I want to accomplish in these years.  I don't have all the answers yet.  In fact I've been in kind of a approach-avoidance mode.  Beadmaking and my mojo  seem to be permanently lost.  I don't know why.  I am taking a break and doing other things.  I am also selling some of my already made beads on ebay.
I've become more involved at Day Spring, the community where Sara lives.  I am serving on the board for three years.  I feel good about doing that.  I am also on two committees at Day Spring.
I take care of the grandchildren when needed.  I love that.  I knit and draw and I'm thinking of painting again.  All of that is good, but I want a passion for something, like I felt when I first made beads.   Maybe you only get something like that once in a lifetime.  Ya think?
I saw this on Facebook the other day.  It made me smile and I wondered if any of my tribe is out there?
 P.S.  You have to hit the question mark to see the quote I am referring to....don't ask me why I can't download it.  My brain cells are limited and I don't want to stress them.

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4 comments:

  1. Sending lots of love. Hoping for clarity to come and passion to find you! I definitely don't believe in only one passion for one lifetime... life is too interesting and people too complex for that! :)

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  2. I agree with you, Mel. Maybe I am just too impatient? :)

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  3. Me too!!! We're 5 years apart, Harriet, but I'm going through the same thing. After 16 yrs of making glass beads I have turned to paper beads. I have turned so much that I'm selling all my glass and equipment. I was on the fence for a while but just recently my decision came to me - not me to it. It feels right.
    The passion I'm feeling for paper is the same feeling I had for glass which is nice.
    I'm also looking, hard, at what's left of my life. I would like to move to a larger town/city (Kalamazoo to be specific) and live in a 55+ community. I want to live in a "new" house before I die.
    I love my house and I love Allegan (only 30 min. from Kazoo) but I want more choices: restaurants, stores, art, etc. And I want quiet and I want to look out my window and see nothing but "pretty."
    The clock is ticking. Three friends, younger than me, died suddenly in a 2 month span this year.
    "Life is not a dress rehearsal."
    Do what you feel is right and don't worry. Follow your heart.

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  4. Yea, my tribe is here!!! I knew you would find me :) Aging is hard, isn't it Ellen? I'm wasting time right now and I feel like I should be doing something, that I don't have time to waste.......then I get tired and just want to lie down :) I'm a mess :)

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